It’s really easy to get caught up doing many things each and every day that you really do not want to do. This was one of the big reasons that I moved overseas. By leaving the comfort of my childhood reference group and moving somewhere that I did not understand the language I suddenly had far fewer distractions vying for my attention. It was bliss for a time. Four years overseas later I started to feel the need to move somewhere else once again in order to gain control of my life. After looking at many possible relocation options I realized that moving was not the answer, but rather that I was the problem. I was too often like water when I needed to be like stone. Water bends and sways to the forces around it while stone does not easily yield to external forces. A mental shift was needed but as I had tried to change before with little success and a new approach was definitely required.

Let me tell you what I did to give myself permission to take full control of my life. A control card is the device that you can use to give yourself permission to do more of the things that you want to do and less of the things that you don’t want to do. It works much the same way as a doctor’s note would. When the doctor says you can drink alcohol or eat cheeseburgers and you use that as your reason for not going out with your friends for dinner, your ability to say no is easy and no one will question you the importance of your doctor’s note.

However when you simply say that you’ll are trying to lose weight or avoid alcohol’s negative effects your rubber arm will be twisted into submission and before you know it you’ll have a mouthful of cheeseburger and be reaching for your alcoholic beverage of choice to wash it all down with. My control card is nothing more than a small business card sized piece of cardboard paper that reads: I am in total control of my life. I alone have the power to choose to live a better life.

I kept a small card in my wallet at all times. I made sure to place it in the front of my wallet where I would be able to read its message every time I opened it. The wallet is a really great place for messages like this. It’s often the spending or misspending of money that leads us down that road of temptation that we know we should avoid. Though this card merely looks like pen scribbled on paper the power that it holds has allowed me to take back control of my life.

You can use control cards in your own life with messages that ring true to you. I have some specific suggestions for creating a message that is both personal and powerful. 1. Choose the area of your life that you need the most help in controlling. This can be stopping addiction, spending less money, taking more free time etc.2. don’t worry about trying to do too much with your message. Each problem is another mountain to climb and by trying to climb too many mountains at once you will certainly become overwhelmed and end up doing nothing.3. Create a short one or two sentence message that gives you permission to choose that path that will lead to your desired outcome. The key here is that it gives you permission to be unreasonable and put what you want to achieve ahead of everyone else’s needs.3. Use only positive words. As a general rule it’s always better to ask for what you want than that in trying to explain exactly what it is that you don’t want. Once you’re finished place the card in the front of your wallet. Replace or remove one of your existing credit or membership cards if needed so that your personalized control card will be easily seen and read each and every time you open your wallet. When you’re faced with a difficult decision or you feel that you’re about to lapse into your old undesired way of acting, just open the wallet and take a look at the control card. Let it decide for you what the best way to act is. Once you feel that you have gained control of the area of your life that the control card is targeting feel free to add a new control card to wallet but do not remove the old one. Keeping your old control cards with you in your wallet will give you additional power if and when you need them again in the future.